Every year, it feels like the holidays become more commercial with more (and increasingly earlier) ads, more wish lists, and more pressure to buy all the things. But when adults look back on their own childhood, it’s usually not the toys they remember; it’s the moments they are most grateful for. From the memories of helping others to spending quality time with loved ones, helping your child have an “attitude of gratitude” is a gift that will stay with them for a lifetime of happiness and health. In fact, gratitude has been associated with better sleep, lower stress levels, reduced depressive symptoms, and stronger emotional resilience.

So, where do you start?

Begin by talking to your kids about the kinds of “gifts” that don’t come in boxes. Tell them about a time someone did something kind for you or about a moment you still carry with you today. Kids love stories, and hearing yours helps them understand that gifts aren’t always things, but can be experiences, time, and human connection.

Try Giving Experiences

If you’re trying to move away from piles of toys, experiences are a wonderful place to start. A zoo pass, an art class, and museum tickets are some memorable experiences you can share with your child. Kids still love opening something, so pair it with a small object that goes with the experience: a popcorn bowl for movie tickets, a stuffed animal for a zoo trip, a baseball cap for a game. It keeps the magic of unwrapping while shifting the focus.

Let Them See Gratitude in Action

Kids notice everything. If they see you talking about moments that mattered to you, or flipping through photos of past family adventures, they absorb that. Gratitude makes more sense to them when they see it lived out, not just talked about.

Talk About the Media They See

It’s honestly shocking sometimes how kids end up wanting toys we’ve never even heard of. A lot of it comes from ads on TV, on social media, or in online games. Take a minute to point those things out when you see them. It helps children understand that ads are designed to sell, not to measure what they need or even truly want.

Make Gratitude a Habit

Help instill gratitude by teaching your kids simple acts of graciousness, such as:

• Saying “thank you” to people who help them
• Sharing what they appreciate about each other
• Making an appreciation tree or a gratitude jar
• Writing simple thank-you cards (kids LOVE decorating these)

Children begin understanding gratitude earlier than most people think, usually around age 2. By preschool, they’re often able to show appreciation on their own, especially when they see it modeled.

Prepare for Real-Life Gift Situations

Even if you’re cutting back on toys at home, your kids will still get gifts from relatives and friends. Practicing how to respond in advance reduces stress for everyone. A simple “Thank you so much!” goes a long way. It’s also helpful to talk through what to do if they feel disappointed or jealous.

Clear Out Old Toys Together

If you’re like most families, you probably have a few (or more than a few!) forgotten toys collecting dust. Use the season as a chance to talk about why toys feel exciting at first, and then suddenly they don’t. Donating gently used items helps kids see that giving can feel just as good as getting.

Create Boundaries That Work for Your Family

Some families choose categories like “something to wear, something to read, something wanted, something needed.” Others skip gifts entirely and pick one big family experience instead. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. What matters is choosing what feels right for your budget, your values, and your family, and being open with your kids about why.

Why It All Matters

Gratitude isn’t something kids magically pick up. It’s something they grow into, little by little, through everyday moments. When we slow down, talk openly, and model what appreciation looks like, we help them build something they’ll carry long past the holiday season.

And that can be the most meaningful—and memorable—gift of all.